


The Site

by leliik



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hope, Marvel Universe, Memories, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 19:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leliik/pseuds/leliik
Summary: Bucky visits a place from his past.





	The Site

**Author's Note:**

> I write little stories like this once in a while, usually inspired by a randomly-chosen entry from "Atlas Obscura." This one is loosely based on an entry about a radio telescope site in Latvia (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/ventspils-international-radio-astronomy-center). It's my first time posting one of these stories; I'm definitely not a great writer but it is a diverting activity.

Bucky Barnes stood in the forest, staring through the security fence and towards the radio dish facility within. He knew he should leave; someone would notice his presence eventually and he'd prefer to avoid the interaction that was likely to follow... but he couldn't bring himself to quite yet. It was as if he were seeing the past and the present at once: the dark, winter memories of the violent hours he was awake at the site in the 1980s flickering on top of the almost serene setting of the now-peaceful research facility in the present. 

Julia picked up her coffee and headed down the hall towards the sunlight outside. After hours of tuning the telescope's frequencies, she couldn't stand another moment in the dim indoor light - not when a bright, quiet few minutes break was possible outside. The spring air was brisk, but the area felt as if it were finally waking up from its winter slumber; it was the time of the year with promise. Stretching and with taking a deep breath, she felt like she was reconnecting with the world around her again after the hours spent looking out into space. It was then she saw him standing just past the fence. 

Of course she recognized him -- who wouldn't after the non-stop media coverage of his trial? But why would he be at the telescope site? She had heard it was once used by the Soviets... As the pieces clicked in her mind, she noticed him suddenly collapse to a knee, looking very much like he was out of strength. Julia began to run towards the fence. 

He'd stayed too long. His head spun. His mind seemed as if it were in a dark pit, and sinking deeper. Aware as he was that he was having a panic attack, the accompanying weight of everything that had happened to him at the site - and everything he had done - kept him struggling for reality. Then, there was a semblance of support. He heard an unfamiliar voice, one that he couldn't place but that he knew wasn't his own or Hydra. He struggled towards the voice, mentally reaching for it and hoping it wasn't just leading to more despair... until finally he was able to open his eyes. 

Julia gently touched his hands. Finally, Bucky looked up at her, despair clinging to the features of his face. "My name is Julia. You're safe. I'm a research scientist here. You're safe," she repeated gently. Finally, her words clicked in his mind. "Research...for what?" he asked with a hoarse voice. "Not...?" he trailed off. "No, not Hydra. Astronomy. We study cosmic radiation. Would you like to see?" His furtive, frightened glance across towards the facility's entrance was answer enough. "Ok, at least come sit in the clearing with me. It's inside the fence, but it will give you a place to sit for a moment and I can get us some food." He stared at the ground for several seconds before nodding a hesitant assent. 

Julia helped him through to the clearing, with its picnic tables nestled near the telescope facility, and rushed in to get food. When she returned, Bucky was staring at the dish. "You know what happened here...?" he asked. "I've heard it was a monitoring station facility, before it was converted for science. It was over a decade ago that they did that..." She herself trailed off as he began shaking his head. "It was here. I remember... They kept me out of cryo for too long. But they realized, and... all I remember of what followed is pain." She slowly reached for his hand. "May I tell you about this place now?" she asked. He nodded. 

"In summer the wildflowers bloom on the edge of the forest. They vine up through the fence. It's beautiful. More researchers come then, when it's warmer. We put up a big tent so we can all eat together each evening. There's a lot of wine brought... and drunk. I mean, except for those doing a study that night. Sometimes we could the fireflies. Jax, he used to be a biologist until he got into the astronomy side of it..." 

She kept going until she gradually felt his grip loosen in her hands. There were tears in his eyes, but not ones as dark as before. "This place," she continued, "It found a new life. I guess please know that you can, too."


End file.
